Here's what I've learned this week!

The weight loss is not going as I would like, but I am determined to stick to my goals. I have been working hard at asking for support, and I'm not putting any false notions out there that "I've got this" because I don't. I know I've done it before and that leads me to believe I can do it again. Tiffanie is always there for me to lean on and I really appreciate that. Yesterday I emailed a friend that I admire, Becky has done amazing things with her life (you should check out her blog), she quickly replied and reminded me that this IS HARD! I broke down, which was so therapeutic. I have been trying to hold it all together and act like I can do all this, when the reality is that I can't do it all, all of the time. Sometimes I need help. That is a huge lesson for me. I am so grateful for my loving Heavenly Father that helps me through all of my struggles. I am grateful that to Him they are just as big a deal as they are to me.

I have been reading Daughters in My Kingdom. I just want to share a little something that I really enjoyed and could relate to. This is a quote from the daughter of Louise Y. Robison 7th Relief Society General President.

“When Mother went to President Grant’s office to be set apart, she felt sure he had been misinformed about her abilities, so she told him she’d be happy to do her best in whatever he asked her to do, but she wanted him to know that she had a limited education, and very little money and social position, and she was afraid she wouldn’t be the example that the women of the Relief Society would expect in a leader. She finished by saying ‘I’m just a humble woman!’ President Grant answered, ‘Sister Louizy, 85% of the women of our Church are humble women. We are calling you to be the leader of them."

I think she is awesome! I have loved reading this book, it is really giving me a love for Relief Society. It is an interesting calling to be Relief Society president, it is the most frightening calling I have ever had, but I also love it! The love that I feel for the sisters in my ward is overwhelming and I know that is because God loves them sooooooo much!

I don't want to get on the scale! Please don't make me!

Welcome to another glimpse into my mind. Friday is my normal "weigh in"day. I start dreading it on Thursday. I have decided that I am taking a break from trying to loose weight and just maintain. Because really I feel good where I am, and I want to move forward. I don't want to look back at my life and think that I wasted too much time worrying about weight.

So, this week has not been a week of healthy food choices. I want to blame Memorial day and it being that time of the month, but I'm all about taking responsibility for your choices. However, hormones do play a huge role, so I'm not going to discount that. Knowing that I have eaten poorly and that my hormones are out of wack I don't want to get on the scale tomorrow. Is it so wrong for me to skip a week? I mean seriously I haven't skipped getting on the scale for years, and have been on the scale so much during a week or a day even that this one time won't hurt-right? It's not going to make me feel better to get on the scale. Will I feel better if I make better choices, listen to my body and then check in next week? I'm looking for support here. Do I need to have the kick in the but that getting on the scale will give me tomorrow, or do I kick myself in the butt enough without that? I'm so afraid of being out of control, but the scale doesn't give me more control. Its just a number, its not who I am. Help! Tell me its ok to skip the scale this week, make better choices and see a more true reflection next week. Please.

I am emotional eater

I've tried to deny it, I like thinking that I am in control. I eat when I'm stressed, tired, bored, worried, angry, actually any emotion could send me to the fridge, pantry, storage room, any where I keep (hide) food.

So, in the spirit of "Keep moving Forward" I am going to be looking for other ways to deal with stress. I just wonder who actually thinks "I can't take it anymore, forget the M&Ms I'm going for a walk." I find myself thinking "I can't take it anymore, where are the M&Ms? Oh, yeah I don't buy those because I will eat too many, let's see what else I can find. I could go for a walk, but that would mean putting on different shoes that don't really go with this outfit. Plus, I already worked out today so its ok to eat this (fill in the blank)." Anyway I am really going to try. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over again expecting a different result. I want a different result so I need to do something different. Now that I've put it out there I'll be more likely to follow through (see how I used a positive statement-winning outcome)

If you really want a laugh today check out my brother's blog. The "One semester Spanish, Spanish love song" its hilarious.