Monday, March 23, 2009

I feel lost

I don't know what to think anymore. Hayley had an awesome post about how the blogging world has changed. It made me think back to when I started this blog about a year ago, I used to write a lot more of what I think. I loved that this was an outlet for me to put whatever thoughts ran through my mind, and then something changed. I'm not sure exactly what, maybe I felt I put too much out there. I do hate to feel judged, and I over analyze everything I say, and when I get feedback that I read as critical that makes me pull back. Right now I feel like nothing I do is enough. I've been trying to please a lot of people and I feel 'me' slipping away. I'm not really sure what to do, because no matter what I do, it always seems to be read wrong by someone, and I can't take it anymore. So to be safe I have resorted to the safe pictures of my kids, and basic updates of what's going on, but its not really what's going on. I guess I'm putting this out there in an attempt to get part of myself back. Hope you all still love me anyway.

8 comments:

Hayley said...

i will still love you anyway ;) i think being open and honest makes people more relate-able, personally. and, i've learned that caring what others think doesn't do you much good, anyway.

Kelly Hill said...

I'll always love you. You're AWESOME!!

Negative feedback is hard. I don't know what you're referring to, but I can imagine that if someone were critical it was probably in an effort to share a different opinion and NOT to belittle. I could be wrong though... sometimes people are just mean. Still, I can't imagine someone being mean about YOU!! It wasn't me, was it??!? Holy COW....... if it was I sure didn't mean it. Ugh. Now I'm going to have to go back and read through all your posts and all your comments just to make sure. ; )

I love ya, Emity. Keep sharing. I love feeling as though I know a more intimate part of you.

love for seven said...

This calls for a mandatory lunch date. . .NOW!!!! I while ago I came to the realization that my blog is just that. . . MY BLOG!!! No one elses, however, I do allow people to read it which means they have to accept me for whatever I out out there. It is a journal of me, and my family. I use to be quite careful about what I posted so as to not sound as if I was bragging about my incredible family. Then I realized if they don't like it, they can choose to not read, and I don't care, it's ok. You should know that I have always envied you for knowing exactly who you are, what you stand for, and what you believe. I love you sooo much. I have loved you sharing your thoughts through your blog. You have been brave and honest. Anyone who doesn't admire that can bite me! Really. . .lets's do lunch soon. . . I need it more than you could know! Love ya!

Tony and Erica said...

Its too bad that you feel that way. I find that the blog is a way to get to know someone better. Its our way to keep in touch and know those ups and downs. I think you are amazing and your family is great too. I hope you dont feel so lost and you know that you have many people who love you for you! Including me

TheFirstWard said...

I love to read your blog! I too have changed what I write about and I have even changed the title of my blog so I can feel free to write what I am really feeling. Most of my blog topics are subjects that I need to improve on. Writing about those topics helps me understand where I am and were I can do better.

Tori said...

You know Em, I think you're right. Hayley's post the other day was right on too. That's probably why I posted on the "other blog". But It's my blog, my thoughts, and that should be ok, right? My family is what's happening right now, but Tori is and should still be in there somewhere. Hope this makes sense. I love you!

mindy said...

I have often thought lately about starting a blog that would just be my thoughts on things and not be about the 'reports' of what's happening. I too feel like if I really share what I think, that people will judge me. It's hard to get over that, but I admire those who can just tell it like it is. So, post what you want...it is YOUR blog.

Tiffanie said...

I completly relate to this, and I chose the easy way out. I realy admire you for continuing on. You are an amazing person and I love you so much. Keep moving forward!