I quit the daily schedule!

If you know me well, you know I live for a schedule, and routine. It is what helped me during those postpartum months, and saves me when things are in limbo. I love a schedule so much that I have gone so far as to map out my day hour by hour, sometimes even by the half hour. I sat down yesterday to type up the new schedule for this school year, and I felt the frustration coming. I don't like having my days mapped out to be that ridged. The problem is, if I get off the schedule somewhere, or just don't feel like doing something, my day is ruined and I feel like a failure. There are plenty of other things that are worth getting your day ruined over like when you buy a 32oz. Diet Coke and your sweet 6 year old spills it right after you get it home, but that's another issue. I think I'm hard enough on myself without some piece of paper making me feel worse.
So, here is my solution. Our mornings are pretty structured, we start with Scriptures at 7:15, then instead of being driven by the clock its more of an order of things that come next. We have Job meeting, breakfast, devotional, and I make the daily school list. I am going to have certain benchmarks, that keep us going throughout the day, or help get us back on task if we stray a little (I'm all for being open to where a new thought will take us, who know what we might learn along the way, and I don't want to stifle any learning). So, we have jobs and school in the morning, then I start Lunch at 12:00, followed by finishing up school. I start Dinner at 5:00, bedtime is 8:00. I have our big calendar in kitchen that has the times of lessons and appointments, and I can glance at that throughout the day so I don't forget anything important.
I feel a weight has been lifted. I don't need every hour of my day planned in order to be productive! I have my school log that I fill in each day, so that I make sure all the really important stuff happens. Its more important that it happens, then what time it happens. I'm still finding my way down this home-school path, and it has only taken me a year to figure this part out. If I am stressed about a schedule all day, I'm not creating the learning environment for my children that I want. This is huge for me!

20 Years ago tag

Tiff just did this on her blog, and it was so fun so I thought I would do it too, plus I've never done a tag before. If you want to, consider yourself tagged.

20 years ago...

1. I spent the summer playing night games with my neighbors, and a guy I worshiped(like a big brother) that was getting ready to go on a mission.

2. My best friends in the world(they were twin sisters) moved.

3. I watched Greg Louganis hit his head on the diving board during the Olympics.

4. I volunteered as a Candy Striper at what was then Jordan Valley Holy Cross Hospital

10 Years ago...

1. I was figuring out what it meant to be a mother to my almost 10 month old Shelby. I experienced levels of worry and anxiety that I didn't know existed.

2. We lived in Midshore Manor Apartments in Midvale, and worked as the on-site managers. Darren was going to school, working nights at RC Willey, and was the Elders quorum President. Life was stressful.

3. I was babysitting my sister-in-law's nephew.

4. We went to Garth's family cabin in Schofield for the first time and loved it!

5 Years ago...

1. I went to girls camp, and had some of the most spiritual experiences of my life.

2. In September I was called as the Primary President of our huge primary, something like 90 kids in nursery.

3. My sweet Shelby started kindergarten.

4. Sarah was making us giggle all the time (I guess she still is).

3 Years ago...

1. I lost 84 pounds!

2. I was called as the 1st Counselor in the Stake Primary, and got to work with the most awesome women I know.

3. Shelby was about to turn 8 Years old, and Sarah was 3, and I was reminded that its not the 2's that are terrible its 3 year olds.

4. I realized that no matter what I was staying with Darren forever. I don't know why I decided this so late in the game, but I realized how much all the really hard years together meant to me, and how those years had shaped what we had now.

1 Year ago...

1. Darren and I decided to homeschool our kids. Crazy? Yes. Absolutely right for our family.

2. Keno joined our family, and I discovered that I love a little lap dog.

3. Darren and I went on a cruise to the Caribbean. When we came home we wondered why no one made our bed when we left the room.

4. I went to Pennsylvania to visit my brother (actually, Liz and Madeline) with my sister and my girls. We had a great time visiting Kirtland OH, and Palmyra, NY, and Niagara Falls. On the way home we spent a day stuck in Denver, trying to get a flight home, only to drive the rest of the way. I had dreams for months about being stranded somewhere with Tiffanie and our kids.

So far this year...

1. I have been released and recalled as the 1st counselor in the Stake Primary, and continue to work with the most awesome women I know.

2. I have gained and lost more weight than I know how to count.

3. I started this blog, which gives me a place to talk about whatever is on my mind. I love that!

4. We are sticking with homeschool, and marvel at the things that are happening in our home.

Yesterday...

1. I took a nap at 10am, because I stayed up too late the night before while Mike worked on the room in our basement.

2. I wondered for the millionth time if 10 years old is too young for a girl to hit puberty as I watched Shelby's mood swings.

3. I went shopping with Tiffanie, my best shopping buddy. She bought the cutest trench, and I can't wait till she lives here so I can borrow it!

4. I started reading "Ender's Game".

Today...

1. I slept in until 7:30 when Keno jumped on me, and wanted to burrow under the covers.

2. I checked some ebay auctions I'm watching.

3. I read some of "Enders Game"

4. Praised Shelby for organizing the pile of books by her bed, using a cute thing she got from the Hello Kitty store.

Tomorrow I will...

1. Go to Church.

2. Go to Pres. Draper's fireside for 11 year olds.

3. Take a nap.

4. Enjoy my Sunday.

Over the next year...

1. I will be 20 pounds lighter.

2. Finish Shelby's quilt, and my eye spy quilt (hopefully before the end of the year)

3. Welcome Mike & Tiff & Carter, along with their dogs to our home, and as our neighbors!

4. Watch things grow; my testimony, my children, my love for my family, and hopefully the trees in my yard!

My quilt update

I have finally finished piecing all of my quilt blocks together! I was still feeling unsure of how the whole thing would look all put together so I layed the blocks out on the floor. This is what it looked like. I was pleased with that look.


Then, still being worried about how it would look with the fabric I've chosen to go in between the pieced blocks, my sister suggested laying the blocks on top of the other fabric. This is what it looked like. I thing it has just the look I'm going for. It will be great in Shelby's room. Perfect for a 10 year old, still pink, but a little grown up too. What do you think?

My grandma always liked to have a quilt up for conference, and with the pace that I am going I think I will be ready to have this quilt on frames for conference. If some how I get this done earlier, then I am going to finish my "eye spy" quilt I started with my Harward family on Thanksgiving about 4 years ago. I will have to share that quilt with you all as well. Either way I will have a quilt up for conference! What do you think should I really quilt this pink and black quilt or should I just tie it? I can see both in my head so I'm not sure what I want to do. It is really fun to see this start to come together!

This is how I feel somedays

There are days I just feel so empty inside, she said, that the only cure is buying stuff I don't need from WalMart. The best thing, she added, is that it all breaks after a couple of weeks, so I can throw it out & start all over again.

This describes my feeling today. I want to go shopping. The purse store is calling me, maybe a new restaurant I haven't been to, instead I am wasting time on the computer, waiting for my sister to call and tell me she can play. Hehe. This thought from the story people also describes how I feel about Walmart-it makes me crazy.

Confessions

Its been a little while since I posted anything, and I always hate it when I leave a rant up for too long, so its time I confessed to what I've been doing the last few days. I have been reading, that sounds great right? I read a mindless book that I like called "A Year of Living Famously". It took me a day to read. I thought that was so much fun, what other mindless stuff could I read. So, I decided to give the "Twilight" books a try. We had to go to Target on Pioneer Day, so I bought the first book. I read a little on Friday, and then after Darren and I got home from seeing Batman on Saturday I read half of the book, until I decided I really needed to get some sleep. I finished it on Sunday(yes, nice Sabbath day reading, but those of you who have read these books will understand). The funny thing about this book, (aside from the story-seriously, try to explain the story without sounding ridiculous) is that it was recommended to me about two years ago. I went to Barnes and Noble to try to find it. The people working there had no idea who Stephanie Meyer was, can you imagine such a thing today? When I found out it was about vampires I decided against it, because I really don't like vampires. I've seen enough vampire movies that just gross me out. However, I have been so intrigued by the popularity of these books, and the age range of people (ok female people) that like them that I was curious. This was the perfect mindless read, totally romantic, what can I say, I am hooked, and must finish the series. Well Monday morning I called my friend that I knew had the books, but she wasn't home. I had to read the next book-no question. I went to the Library with Tiff, and looked for it there, no luck. I had to have the next one to read that night, so I went to Target and bought the next two, I played it safe. So I started "New Moon" Monday evening, and finished it Tuesday afternoon. I am now half way through the third book "Eclipse". I'm taking a break to blog because I just keep laughing at myself. Darren keeps laughing at me too, because when I tell him(a serious sci-fi, fantasy reader) about these vampires he just chuckles. I mean vampires that aren't hurt by the sun, they glitter, what's not funny about that? So, I have them all now, and fully intend to buy the new one on Saturday, let me know if you want to borrow them, they are a great summer read!
This post is titled confessions which hints at more than one, so here is my second confession. I bought the new George Micheal CD. I saw him on Good Morning America on Thursday (I must have been extremely open to suggestion on Pioneer Day), and hearing his music made me confess that I like it. So, I looked at it when I was at Target, but they wanted too much so I bought it at Wal*mart. The funniest part of the interview on GMA was when he said that women love him for his mind. I've never thought about what could be on George Micheal's mind, unless "Wake me up, before you go go" is something deep that I'm missing? Anyway the CD is fun and I like it. I guess you could say my summer really is about being mindless, but I am having a great time!

Homemaking vs. Housekeeping

Darren and I had an interesting conversation yesterday that has kept rolling around in my head. I have been reading the Worldwide Leadership training pamphlet, and I was looking back through the notes that I took the day that it was broadcast. I had written "A lack of homemaking leads to emotional Homelessness." Darren and I then started talking about homemaking and that too often we equate homemaking to a clean house. I believe that there are principles to homemaking and certainly keeping our homes neat is one principle, but I think there is more to homemaking than a clean house. As I thought back to my home growing up I remember comparing our home to my friends houses. It seemed that our house was never quite as clean as everyone else's house, I am sure now that my point of view was somewhat off. We had awesome neighbors, the family across the street was like a second home to me. JoAnne was my Young Women's leader and a second Mom, I could talk to her about anything, and the awesome thing as I look back now was that she always backed up my parents. It seemed like her house was always clean and one day when I was saying something about our house not being as clean she said "You guys have 6 kids, I only have 3". JoAnne taught me something great that day. It wasn't just about having a clean house. It seems like she went on to list all the things my mom did that she didn't. My mom is a great seamstress and sewed a lot of our clothes. She kept 6 kids organized and got us where we needed to be, when we needed to be there, and we participated in a lot of lessons and sports and stuff. She didn't (doesn't) like to cook, but she still taught me how to read and follow a recipe. So as I think about homemaking I think its looking at your family, seeing what your family needs and meeting those needs. Its about having an idea of what will and won't happen in your home and building life around those values. It does involve cooking and cleaning, but if that was all, then everyone that hires a cook and a housekeeper would be a good homemaker as well. That is why I think Sis. Beck says that women in the Church should be the best homemakers. We know what should go on in our homes and what shouldn't, because of that knowledge our homes reflect that.

Another Em rant to start your Monday.

Saturday Sentiments- I Love My Dogs!

I really do love my dogs. They are great because they are always happy to see me. I can yell at them and they still love me. All they want is to be fed and loved, and told what to do (it really does make them happy to make me happy). Yes they get obnoxious, and I'm sure my neighbors have all heard me yelling for Molly to come home a lot, but I still love them. So let me tell you a little about each of them
1. Molly
Molly is a symbol to me. We got her on September 10, 2001. To me she symbolizes what an average American family would be doing before September 11 when the world changed. Part of what made that day so stressful for me was dealing with her. I had never had a dog before (my dad believes the best kind of dog is a dead one-love ya Dad!). So as I was watching TV, pregnant and wondering what kind of world I was bringing a baby into, I was also freaking out over this puppy that was peeing and pooping all over my house. I called Darren to find out what to do, and he told me I could put her in the garage. I didn't know you could do that! If you get sick of a dog just stick them somewhere else. Whoever invented "Time Out" must have had a dog. Not long after 9/11 Darren got lost his job. We were both so worried, I wasn't always the comfort that Darren needed because here we were getting ready to have a baby, which we had waited so long to do, and now there was no job, and how were we going to keep our house. Molly didn't care that there was no job, she loved him anyway. Did I mention Molly really is Darren's Dog. She is a German Shorthair, a bird dog. She goes pheasant hunting with Darren, from what I hear she's really good. I would love to see here in action sometime. Molly is also my running/walking buddy. The moment I wake up in the morning she starts whining and won't leave my side (she's worried I will leave her). When I pull out my gray sweatshirt she starts to pull on it, that is the signal we are really going for a walk. She can tell by what I put on first thing in the morning if we are going or not, on weekends she's always a little disappointed when I don't put on the right clothes. I love Molly.

2. Keno
Next is Keno. We got him just over a year ago. Keno has issues. He thinks he is a big dog, and not the Miniature Schnauzer that he really is. So, he gets totally mad if you try to pick him up. When we first got him, we were never sure if he was playing or really mad until he bit us. We got Keno from Darren's brother, when they thought they were going to be moving into an apartment, and couldn't bring the dog. When I first saw Keno I fell in love with him, he is just so cute. Once we got him home and we learned of his anger issues I wasn't so sure I liked him. Now after lots of work with the "Dog Whisperer" (Darren) he has gotten much better. He still rushes the door when people come over and he cries like a baby because he wants to bark, but knows he shouldn't. He also screams like a girl when we take him to the vet or the groomer. The minute we walk in the door of Petsmart he won't move, so we have to carry him (did I mention he hates to be carried?). I now see what a sweet dog he really is, and he tries so hard to be good.So even if there is a lot of this (insert growling here). They really are a part of our family. If I believed in putting vinyl sticker pictures of my family on my car I would have to include my dogs.