I don't want to get on the scale! Please don't make me!

Welcome to another glimpse into my mind. Friday is my normal "weigh in"day. I start dreading it on Thursday. I have decided that I am taking a break from trying to loose weight and just maintain. Because really I feel good where I am, and I want to move forward. I don't want to look back at my life and think that I wasted too much time worrying about weight.

So, this week has not been a week of healthy food choices. I want to blame Memorial day and it being that time of the month, but I'm all about taking responsibility for your choices. However, hormones do play a huge role, so I'm not going to discount that. Knowing that I have eaten poorly and that my hormones are out of wack I don't want to get on the scale tomorrow. Is it so wrong for me to skip a week? I mean seriously I haven't skipped getting on the scale for years, and have been on the scale so much during a week or a day even that this one time won't hurt-right? It's not going to make me feel better to get on the scale. Will I feel better if I make better choices, listen to my body and then check in next week? I'm looking for support here. Do I need to have the kick in the but that getting on the scale will give me tomorrow, or do I kick myself in the butt enough without that? I'm so afraid of being out of control, but the scale doesn't give me more control. Its just a number, its not who I am. Help! Tell me its ok to skip the scale this week, make better choices and see a more true reflection next week. Please.

Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad!

Today is my parents Anniversary! Thirty-six years, I think.

Thanks for your example. You have stuck together through a lot, including raising 6 awesome kids! You have taught me a lot and deserve to get credit for the great lives that we all enjoy, because without the two of you we wouldn't even have lives. The fact that we have great lives is tribute your teachings. I hope you have a great day and do something fun to celebrate. I love you both!

Sunday Sentiments

My Saturday Sentiments is happening on Sunday this week, that's the beauty of having two days in a row that begin with 'S'.


I have a lilac blooming! We planted these lilac bushes 7 years ago with starts that we got from my parent's yard. They have a beautiful "wall" of purple and white lilacs. As a kid I loved to go out and smell them. I would always think of the the Primary song "I Often Go Walking". I love the smell of lilacs, especially when you can just smell them in the air. I had planted these bushes trying to create my own wall of lilacs beside my porch. I had thoughts of just stepping out on my porch and enjoying my beautiful flowers. Although the bushes grew every year I've never gotten any flowers until this spring! Only this one bunch, but after seven years I was so excited, and reminded of why I planted them in the first place.

Lord of the Rings

What has Shelby so engrossed? Well she is a kid parked in front of the TV so it could be any thing.



Its Lord of the Rings. When we came home from our Topaz trip I wanted to just relax and watch Fellowship of the Ring. So, that's what we did. I had to take a short break to speak at a fireside, but we finished the first movie later (much later) that night. We spent the next two evenings watching the other two movies. Shelby decided that she wanted to read the books. I thought "Sure, go ahead and give them a try". I read Fellowship of the Ring a couple of summers ago, and it took me the whole summer, and I had to watch the movie a couple of times, while I was reading, to figure out what was going on. I thought it was great that she wanted to give the books a try. Much to my surprise she has read all three books in three weeks! My question the whole time was "Does she understand what she is reading?", but she and Darren would discuss the books every night. I guess she knew what she was reading. She has now decided to memorize some of the poems that are in the books. I am floored! Who's kid is this? Oh yeah she's Darren's. I'm just excited about all the ways we can use this as part of school, its so awesome!

Saturday Sentiments

My thoughts today aren't particularly sentimental, but its still something that makes me happy. So, sit back and enjoy a look into my twisted mind.

I love angry music. Not angry teenager, I guess I would call it melodic angry music. I've written about music before, so maybe I'm being redundant, but oh well. My favorite angry song of all time is "I alone" by Live. They are a great band for angry music, they have mellowed a bit since getting married and having kids but still good stuff. Fall Out Boy, Panic! at the Disco, Nickleback (to a point, they do turn angry teenager after a while) are all good. Once screaming starts in a so called "song" I'm done, but just general being pissed off is fun.

Along with this comes the angry break- up song. No, Micheal Bolton "How am I supposed to live without you" crap. More a long the lines of "You big jerk, you stomped on my heart, don't come near me ever again." kind of song. Erasure's "Love to Hate You" is one of my all time favorite angry break up songs. I know when you think of angry music Erasure isn't exactly what pops into your head, but I'm not hear to make sense of this. I'm just telling you how it is. I'm not sure why I like the angry break-up song, its not like I've had my heart stomped on mercilessly. The closest thing I've had to a broken heart was when Darren went on his mission, that was painful, but he did come back and now here we are Happily ever after. Maybe I just live vicariously through other people, I don't think I delight in others else's pain. So, there you have it. As Jack Nicholson says in As Good As it Gets "Its not that your mad you had it so bad, Its that your pissed everyone else had it so good." or something like that.

Random Thoughts

On Saturday someone I don't know posted a comment on my blog. So, I thought I would check out her blog. She had a link to a site called The Pioneer Woman. I was checking it out yesterday and she has a story on her blog about how she met her husband. I was hooked. Every spare moment I could find I was reading the next installment to this woman's story. The thing, I think, that really gets me is how great it is read about someone that loves their life and is in love with their husband. So much of what is on TV and everywhere isn't like that, its refreshing to find people that are happy. So, should you decided to check it out, you've been warned-it could be addictive, if your into that kind of chick flick story. She also has a cooking section on her site and I made the apricot bars (only I used orange marmalade because thats what I had), and they were so good, especially followed by a glass of milk. Plus, she lives on a ranch, and ever since I read Laddie, I have thought that would be a great life.

Today as I was driving home from the gym I noticed that the price of gas had gone up ten cents since Monday! I have already cut back on how often I go to the gym because of the price of gas, plus with warmer weather I love running/walking up the hill on Lake Mountain. We have been trying to be very careful with our money lately, especially since it doesn't go as far as it used to. So, as I was lamenting the price of gas a thought came to me. I think it is a good that I now take a closer look at what I'm going into town for. Staying home forces me to slow down and slowing down allows time to be quiet and think. The last two and a half weeks have been filled with more insight and personal inspiration, and a strengthening of my testimony, that I have missed in the craziness of life. I think its true that distraction is a tool of the devil, if our lives are so full that we can't be still, we can't hear the Holy Ghost, we may be missing out on something Heavenly Father would have us know. So, today I am grateful that the price of gas is forcing me to slow down, enjoy my life, and feel what Heavenly Father would have me feel.

Its Monday!?

I have sort of a love/hate relationship with Mondays. I love putting my house back in order after a great weekend, and this weekend was great! I had a great Mother's day, I hope everyone did, it was for me just what I wanted it to be. Darren and I put the chair rail up in my bedroom on Wednesday, Darren bought petunias that we planted on Saturday, and Sacrament Meeting was awesome-the Priesthood singing made me cry, what a great surprise! But, I hate that Darren has to go to work, and getting back to the daily routine is sometimes hard. Today, though Monday is inspiring me. We went to Wellington yesterday, and we didn't get home until late, so we got up late. I didn't get to the gym until 8:30 and then did the grocery shopping. I called to check on the kids and Sarah wasn't even up yet at 10:00-kids were tired too. I listened to an awesome Conference talk (Knowing that you Know) on the way home about testimony, that is my favorite part of going to the gym listening to Conference on the way home. I got my kitchen cleaned (my floor hadn't been cleaned in two weeks-as my mom would say "There was so much dirt you could plant radishes"), while the girls walked dogs. When they got home we read Anne of Green Gables. Shelby made me lunch while I showered. Then practiced the piano. We still have math to do, maybe making Apple Crisp for FHE will be math (science and home ec. too) for today. I love a productive Monday.

I have also decided that I need some new motivation in my piano practicing. So, I have made a practicing calendar. I am going to use it to make sure that I practice 5 days a week from now until the recital-Yes, Jeannette makes me play. I don't like to play in front of people, but that's kind of the point of why I started taking lessons again, so that I could play in Church.

I am also having some great thoughts about what I want my blog to be. To really be a piece of me and everything that I love. To share more of what is important to me and what motivates me. So, look for some new links and me to talk about somethings that I don't always talk about. I have a vision of what I hope this blog can be, and I am really excited about it!

Saturday Sentiments

My thoughts today are about scrabooking. I love it! I started scrapbooking about 6 months after Darren and I got married. My sisters in law invited me to scrapbook with them at what was then Paper Hearts in Sandy (now its Pebbles in My Pocket). I was instantly hooked and even dreamed that night about a page that I wanted to make the next time I scrapbooked. Once Shelby was born, it just got even better! I quickly recruited my mom and sisters. I don't get to scrapbook as often as I would like, but mostly because I just don't let myself (which is a whole other issue I have). I try to have a set time, but that doesn't always work. It works best for me if I have a scheduled time to meet with friends or family to scrapbook.
I've been reading a book called "The Organized and Inspired Scrapbooker". It talks about figuring out what inspires you and why you scrapbook. So I have posted pictures of what is inspiring to me that I keep in my scrapbook area. I should give some credit to Mandi. The ribbon ladder was totally her idea as was the vinyl Shipley with our names on top of it. I love looking at my ribbon jars, ribbon is just happy. I was talking with Carma once about her favorite photography store, she compared it to how I would feel walking into a ribbon store. As I thought about that I kept visualizing the joy of walking into a store completely dedicated to ribbon. Now that would be FUN! Everything on the black cabinet is something I love, reminds me of someone special, or just makes me happy to look at.
Now why do I scrapbook? Well I've come to realize that I love the stories. I love to tell stories. When I look through a scrapbook magazine I hold the magazine as close as I can so I can read the stories that go a long with the picture. For me its not about all the cute stuff, however I do love the cute stuff too, but the stories are what make a scrapbook. I have lots of albums to tell lots of different stories. One of my favorites is Sarah's "I'm just 3" album. I'm so far behind chronologically that I made this album first, so that she could see pictures of herself that weren't just baby pictures. Second, because three year olds are such stinkers, but they say and do the funniest things and I didn't want to forget. When I scrapbook I look at the pictures and remember great times and how much I love my family no matter how crazy they have made me that day. To me that makes scrapbooking special.

Saturday Sentiments

Friends.

This has been one of those weeks where I have been compelled to be humble. Having good friends is what has helped me get through. When I was having a particularly rough day I called Darren and my sister, and then went to visit Mandi. Talking to each person really helped brighten my day. Jenny sent me a great email that helped me a ton. I also got to say a quick "Hi" to Ashley as she walked past my kitchen window one morning. I got to spend Friday afternoon with Tiffanie and Liz, and just being with them was a great lift. Then, Friday night I went scrapbooking with my friends Carma, Daina, and Katie. Tiffanie spent the day here today during her open house, it was great to have her here especially since Darren was gone all day.

All of this time with friends has helped me to understand that we can't get through life alone. We need each other. Its funny to me what having this blog has done for me, its helped me connect with my neighbors in a way that I never have before. Sometimes I feel like I am short on friends, but since I started this blog and read my friends blogs I feel like we have more of a connection. Its silly to live by people for 7 1/2 years and it takes the computer to feel close to my neighbors. I guess through the wonder of the internet we can be there for each other when we have a minute to check and see how everyone is doing. I love it.

I want to thank all of you for the moments that you have been there for me. You may not even know how much you all mean to me. The times that you have made me laugh or shared something that was just what I needed to help me with what is going on in my life. Thanks.